About me
I'm Alfredo Morreel. I'm 34 and a mentor for men. Not a coach, not a therapist.
How I got here
On paper my life looked good. Meanwhile I was in a burn-out, with a depression on top of it. I didn't see my friends anymore, hardly went outside, ate badly and drank too much. I avoided making plans and looking honestly at myself. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. The first time I said out loud that things weren't going well was to a psychologist, not to my friends or family.
It wasn't only down to me
I was looking for validation and thought I'd find it in control: reading books, following protocols, optimising everything. It helped for a while. The hard stories about what a real man is promised the same thing: be the boss, show no emotions, keep everything under control. I recognised the need, not the answer. Nobody teaches us what to do with our pain, so an answer like that sounds convincing, until you notice it's empty.
I didn't go along with those stories. At home I learned how to treat people, with respect, with women, with friends, in a relationship, and that didn't fit them. I didn't want to become a man who uses others to feel better about himself. That choice is why I do this work.
What really helped me
Honest conversations. Friends who stayed and really asked how I was. Taking responsibility for my own behaviour. And learning that mental and physical health are connected: you have to take care of both.
What I would tell my younger self
At 15: you don't have to be liked by everyone.
At 24: don't let yourself be made small by people who care less about you than you do about them.
At 31: you don't have to optimise everything to be someone.
And always: being yourself doesn't mean you can do that at the expense of others.
How I work
I listen and ask questions. I don't have a ready-made step-by-step plan. If something fits a professional better, I'll say so and we'll look further together. I work in conversations and on walks, and I'm still learning myself. You can see what that looks like on How it works.
Where I stand
What I believe about asking for help, violence and care has a page of its own. Read where I stand →
My roles
I don't do this work alone. I work with, and learn from, people and organisations who have been doing this longer and more broadly than I have:
Through JC Bazzz I give workshops on masculinity and the manosphere. Those don't run through Noordkracht.
Outside work
When I'm not talking to men, I game (more than I admit), read fiction, train BJJ (so that people who like me can choke me) and walk my dog.
Just want to talk?
Book a 20-minute conversation, by phone or video. Free, and you don't have to buy anything. At the end, you decide whether we carry on together.
Book a conversation