Where I stand
This is what I believe and what I stand for. I'm writing it down because you're allowed to know where you stand before you talk to me. You don't have to agree with me to talk to me.
What I work on, and what you can hold me to
That men dare to really ask how someone is doing, that they see what they never had to see and use their voice and strength to make room for others, and that they no longer have to prove their worth.
Who I am
I'm a man who grew up with a lot of opportunities: a safe home, an education, help when I needed it. Because of that, I didn't stop to think for a long time about what came easily to me: coming home safe, being heard, someone who took care of my tasks and feelings. Maybe you recognise that, maybe not: not every man got the same opportunities.
What I'm convinced of
Asking for help is not a weakness and not proof of strength, it's what people do. Many men learned to solve things alone, me too. That can make us lonely and sometimes ill.
I believe a man who feels seen doesn't need an enemy, and that he stays responsible for what he does with his beliefs.
Intimacy starts with listening: a yes has to be free and a no is a complete answer.
Violence is never okay, not against men either. Violence against women and LGBTQIA+ people is, on top of that, no coincidence: it's connected to a patriarchal system, norms that boys learn from a young age about how a man is supposed to be. Now it's time to unlearn that, and it's not up to women or LGBTQIA+ people to explain it to us.
Care is not a "woman's job". Actively listening, paying attention and having difficult conversations is something every person should be able to do. As men we have to carry that ourselves instead of leaving it to women, also as parents: boys learn from what they see in men.
What I don't know yet
I'm still learning, from research and from people who have been doing this longer. The research on what helps men is still thin. That is why I don't promise results, and why I adjust as I learn more.
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More about my path and my roles is on About me.